She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I think my vagina is haunted
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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