let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
