Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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