so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
