the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
