I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
