We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
