whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
