I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
