then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
