Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
