So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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