He asked to "fluff my boner.."
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
