just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
