He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
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