Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
