Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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