One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
