forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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