her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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