so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
