Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
