I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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