He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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