Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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