There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
