question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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