so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
