I wannas sexs uuuuu
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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