the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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