what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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