Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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