Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
