kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
