He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
