I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
