i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
