My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
