Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
