ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
