i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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