I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
