Only a mothe r could love this liver
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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