Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
