I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
