My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
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