She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
