It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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