the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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