When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
