someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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