real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
